Sunday, November 23, 2008

And Now For A Commercial Word From Me

Politically Correct Potscrubbers
Do you lay awake night after night,worrying endlessly about global warming?
I know I do!
Do you wonder, What can I as an individual do to help?
Me too!
We must all do our part,Because together we CAN make a difference.
Help eliminate the use of fossil fuels,by discarding that evil nylon pot scrubber,
and replace it with PCPs! PCPs are made from all natural loofa!
Do your part to eliminate corporate greed. Our scrubbers are manufactured locally.
Not only do we support the local economy,and donate most of our profits to local hunger relief,
(very local)
we even work on a primitive level to save our natural resources.
Instead of using steel scissors ( allowing evil corporate steel manufacturers to profit)
individual members of our family faithfully chew through each fiber carefully snipping and nibbling
them to square perfection. We are gradually losing our teeth but hey,
the environment is worth it! They are then washed by hand in the river,
using only biodegradable soaps that were hand made by a family down the street,
on their wood stove and using the ash to make their own lye,
stirred with a stick with the bark still on it.
They are then hung out to dry ,on a clothes line made of renewable hemp,
incorporating the use of solar power!
My 7 children will place each PCP in a recycled zip lock bag,
(note to neighbors, please rinse bags before disposing of them, otherwise it gets really gross)
saving our land fills and fossil fuels, a double win! PCPs are made from a renewable resource,
that adds oxygen to the air and provides local growers with income.
Each loofa plant provides a shelter for local flora and fauna,and for every one loofa harvested two more are planted,
while chanting a ritualistic verse and simultaneously beating drums
and invoking mother earths blessing on future crops and giving thanks for the ever increasing population of the environmentally conscious,because after all, there is one born every minute, and thanks
for the incom.....um opportunity to do our part to save the environment.
SEND CASH ONLY TO:
PCPs SAVING THE WORLD
PO BOX 203
GRAND RONDE, OR
97347
$1.95 plus .50 shipping and handling
PS This is really a real product...really....stop laughing!

2 comments:

Blessed Mama of 4 said...

I'm game, bring one for me to try at thanksgiving... I'll give ya the $$ there.

...I'm still not so convinced about global warming, but I'll buy your pot scrubber.

shrubbunny said...

There is no such thing as global warming. The whole post is a satirical one. My college writing instructor said, "the biggest problem with this style is that if done correctly people may begin to wonder if you actually do believe what you are saying. In the article I turned in for her I was lamenting about how ridiculous the Lamaze method of birth was because it made the whole process so easy on the baby and didn't adequately prepare the child for a rough world. Another satircal point of view.