Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Threshold on Hold


Definition :connubial\kuh-NOO-bee-ul; -NYOO-\, adjective:
Of or pertaining to marriage, or the marriage state; conjugal; nuptial.

I had developed into a hacking, mucous snorting, feverish and infectious bride. Connubial relations were put on hold. Not that I minded really. It is terribly hard to remain romantic when the kiss begins well but the middle ends with a smothered cough trying to erupt down your mates throat.

My man had to carry me over our threshold due to my illness and not his sense of tradition. Ahhhh, but the water bed felt so warm and comfortable. I had purchased this item several years before and it had never given me one moments problem. I should have remembered the omens at the wedding.

It was a King sized monstrosity. We thought he could sleep on one side and I on the other in order to keep all of our germs in their proper places. I think they must have invented the water filled tubes model the year after making this one. Probably due to law suits. Just as we had settled down for a much needed rest the bronchitis once again took over my body. A coughing spasm sent tidal waves washing across the surface, rocking and rolling my man back and forth just as he was drifting off to blissful sleep. Stuffing my pillow into my face only resulted in a muffled cough with more hang ten type waves. I tried to leave the bed by rocking my body up and over the edge. By this time he was already on the opposite side and the resulting tsunami sent him washing up and over the side right out of the bed. “Sorry “, I said between spasms. I ran to the bathroom and chugged more Robotussin. Back to the marriage chamber I eased my fatigued body on to the waters warm surface as best I could. A few more half hearted coughs and we both began to drift off in to a deep and much needed slumber.

At some point during the night I was awakened to hear an indistinct mumbling. I couldn’t quite figure out where it was coming from. My back was warm, and on some dim level I realized I had all of the covers. That’s when it occurred to me that my feet were braced against the side rail where I had been lying. My back had gotten cold, (odd in a heated water bed) and I had shoved my new groom all the way over against the oposite side rail, having wedged his face in between the rail and the cushy mattress. Why were we having such a hard time waking up? In my hazy fog I pressed harder with my feet to get as warm and close as I could to this man who was the only source of heat. My teeth began to chatter and I was shaking violently. It was not due to fever. We were both suffering from hypothermia! Somehow the heater in the bed had gone out. I shook my husband out of his stupor and told him what was going on. We both sat there bleary eyed, and teeth chattering. Looking at the bed, but too tired and cold to investigate, we dragged all the covers down onto the carpeted floor and snuggled together for dear life, germs or no germs. After about 45 minutes of shivering and teeth chattering we began to warm. Both of us let out little sighs of contentment, and began to drift off. I coughed.

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